Did I Marry The Right Person?

Got this forwarded email from my friend. I'm not married yet, so I don't have the authority to judge whether the author's view is right or the opposite. But the philosphy looks right to me, most importantly I think is quite biblical. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said,"How do I know if I married the right person?"

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind. Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience.

You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive
you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfilment.

Extramarital fulfilment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage.
It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can "make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling.

World Cup or Gold Cup?

Haven't been writing much these days, coz I can't really find some spare time. Well, World Cup is one of the issues that has consumed all my spare time. I noticed football can sometimes be very addictive. When I was young, I used to wonder why the adults can sit in front of the TV for 90 to 120 mins and watch 22 men fighting for a bloody ball. The most horrendous thing is that this activity catches millions of spectators each time, not to mention World Cup. For this reason, I once hated football very much and decided not to involve in this sports at all. I now realise that I've made a big mistake.

I started to touch football when I was in high school -- the only Sports that can involve more than 20 people and in fact, it's really fun !! Many peers talked about basketball or badminton during their junior high school period, but then switched the topic to football once they got to senior level. I can't explain why, it's just the trend. Sports betting might be one of the reasons why football gets more popular at older age during our days. I can imagine the betting atmosphere in my high school during this season. I hope they will learn a lesson at their young age, like me : ) (Well, I wasn't as bad as you think, coz I'm a quick learner)

Until now, I start to fully embrace football. Watching football can be very entertaining if you have the right attitude. On the other hand, football can wipe out ones entire life once gambling is involved.

Thanksgiving

The recent philanthropical movements of the 2 world richest man Billy Gates and Warren Buffett have been headlining the media for the past few weeks.

Bill Gates has decided to leave his full time role in Microsoft by July 2008 and focus on the charity work with his wife on Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation (currently foundation by assets worth about $28.7 billion). While Warren Buffett has decided to work on giving his bulk fortune to the charity. He's planning to give away 5/6 of the shares that worth $37 billion, starting off the donation this year that worth $1.5 billion.

To be honest, I appreciate their thoughts and efforts, most importantly the role that they are playing in this materialistic world. However, can the total amount 60 billion tackle the world most notorious problems like poverty, HIV, malaria, tuberculosis etc.

Unless everyone returns to the bible, Luke 12:48:

From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.

因 为 多 给 谁 ， 就 向 谁 多 取 ； 多 托 谁 ， 就 向 谁 多 要 。

Song Writing Competition

Writing a thesis is never easy. I still have a lot to go. Currently writing my Methodology, determination and perseverance are the key, i know.

The junior youth has decided to put forward their song "I Will Sing For You" to the London Methodist District Song Writing Competition. If they win (which I think is quite likely), this song will be circulated within the London Methodist church.

To be honest, intially I myself am not very keen about this competition. Until the praise team has decided to go for it, I really want them to try their best and do the recording with all their hearts. Let God who decide whether they can win or not. I will do all my best to coordinate this time.

Staying Competitive

I hate the feeling of having the obligation to work hard in order to stay competitive, whether is in sports, academics or careers. Somehow throughout my academics life, I have been working very hard to achieve what I want, before I came to know Christ.

Starting from primary school, I was sent to a so called "famous school" that teaches from 8am to 5pm. This school is about 45 mins driving distance from where I reside, whereas during those days, most of the kids study in the school around their local area. In general, most of them study from 8am to 1pm. What's so "special" about my primary school is they teach additional Maths, English (both Singapore syllabus)and Malay. Honestly, the teaching quality was up to there, but at that age I didn't really treasure the opportunity to learn. In fact, I turned out to be a sportsman in badminton, basketball and tabletennis. I was very competitive at that time and was one of the best players amongst.

During my high school, again my parents decided to send me to a repute school, a school that is well known for its tough exams, solid foundation of Maths and Science, strict discipline and the best teachers. In my opinion, you ought to work very very hard in order to stay competitive in this school, coz you will be treated the best quality of teaching if only you could get through the top class. Growing up in this environment, I have nurtured the skill to work diligently, efficiently and independently, having said that I did really enjoy my school-hood very much.

I then came to England to do my first degree and now postgraduate studies. Thank God for all these golden opportunities. These are the dreams of many I have to say. I seriously don't think I'm more distinctive than any of my peers back home. I finally understand the meaning of "By Grace".

Ever since I came to Christ and understand the real meaning or purpose of life, I have a very different point of view in "Staying Competitive". I didn't manage to get the best results I want during my undergraduates, nor I don't think I'm very outstanding in my current research. Even until now I think I have loads of flaw in my research, but I just can't be bothered to fix them. There's something wrong in my theological concept I think, coz I'm loosing steam more easily than before, many secular results and achievements seem not very important to me. I don't really care whether I'm competitive enough to stay in the academics.

Perhaps I'm not doing what I really enjoy doing. But who enjoys working hard since the age of 8, sometimes you just have to do it eventhough you don't really enjoy. Is this not the philosophy?

Shall I keep staying competitive in the secular like before? Can I choose to stay faithful with my believe at the same time?

Surviving

In my opinion, today's weather is getting better, indeed is considered perfect weather for me, not too hot and not too cold. Recently the warm weather does bother me a lot because my office is not air conditioned, the heat can sometimes drive me crazy.

I really don't understand why I'm still having runny nose on this lovely weather. I'm wondering if this is the flu, or even worse, could it be a nose cancer? Well, I think I can't feel any lump in my neck, hopefully is not something worse than the flu or hayfever. My nose blockage is seriously affecting my work progress. I feel so sleepy in the afternoon and can't concentrate on the readings.

I need to be determine and fight with the weaknesses in my flesh. Go away Satan !!!

Happy Summer

I had very sensitive nose when I was in high school. Little dust or airborne particle will make me sneeze for minutes. I still remember I often have running nose when I woke up in the morning, as soon as I get out from my air conditioned bedroom. It usually took me some time to get back to normal.

I came to England 5 years ago. I have never suffer from serious runny nose since then apart from when I'm infected by flu virus. Indeed, the weather and quality of air in my hometown do make me feel very sick and uneasy. The moist and warm atmosphere, plus the mosquitoes are always attracted to my flesh for some reasons --- these are the main reasons why I hate to live in Malaysia.

For this reason, I hope you can understand why I love the weather in England so much. I don't really mind if it's -10 degreeC, nor the dull and drizzling day, as long as I don't sweat and feel uncomfortable.

I can foresee myself suffering from the heat in this summer, at the same time I'm enduring with this stupid hayfever symptoms. I hate summer in London, weird huh? What to do, it makes me feel sick.

Hayfever

Am suffering from Hayfever these days. My experience last year was really bad, itching and running nose, tearing eyes and sleepless nights, you name it I had it last year.

Heard from some friends that once you got hayfever, it will last for the rest of your life during summer when there are plenty of pollens. But my opinion is as long as ones immune system is well, hayfever will sooner vanish, which means my current immune response is not too ideal.

Seriously have to take care of my health these days, coz I don't want to take medication to stop the symptoms.

Old Testaments

Saturday's fellowship was good, it was the Bible Study(1) on Old Testaments led by Rev Ho. It made me feel guilty and ashame of my shallow knowledge on the history of Old Testaments. I thought King David appears before Samuel ..aiih..what a shame !!

I have decided to study the Old Testaments again this time, in fact I have to admit that I have never finished the entire book before. I'm going to build the Bible World History Timeline myself this time, in comparison to the world events and history in China, India, Mesopotamia and the Jews..whooaaa, what an ambitious plan and dream !! Anyway, hope God can give me strength, wisdom and most importantly the determination for me to carry on this "project". There are currently many timeline available in the internet, but I hope to generate one for own interest. It takes probably years to comprehend and memorise the entire biblical world history, of course it depends on how far I want to go.

Think about it, I don't want to be a historian, I just want to understand the Kingdom and Sovereignty of God in a wider context. Nevertheless, my thesis has to be the priority. :p

Business Secret

Wahahha..i'm gonna reveal a business secret to everyone, hope my supervisor is not going to see this.

Let me give you a rough background of the concept of science behind this. The amount of water vapour in the air at a given time is usually less than that required to saturate the air. The Relative Humidity (RH) is the percent of saturation humidity, generally calculated in relation to the saturated vapour density. In short, RH = (actual vapour density)/ (saturated vapour density) * 100%.

Daily application of RH includes weather forecasting, adsorption, thermodynamics characterisation and prediciting the rheological properties of solid substance (ranging from food, pharmaceutical to catalyst industry).

My supervisor is the first person who commercialise (not sure whether he's the first who invented) this equipment called Dynamic Vapour Sorption (DVS). What this machine does is to generate an accurate amount of Relative Humidity in a microscale basis in a close system.

For example if you want to generate a RH of 30%, the machine will allow a 70volume/min of dry air to mix with a 30volume/min of water vapour. RH ranging from 0% to 99% can be obtained using the same principle. With this information, the Adsorption Isotherms (same temperature) of a substance can be studied thoroughly (believe me, they are very useful information). Below is the typical adsorption plot of a substance (Langmuir isotherm red and BET green)

However, current technology has limitation on controlling the RH at below 5% (called Henry Isotherm region). Many physicalchemists are very interested on the adsorption behaviour of different solids under the Henry's Region. There are still a lot of mysterious properties of a solid at this region which we believe is very useful information for the formulation studies.

So, if you could think of a way to generate a low RH from 0.1 to 5% and the method can be controlled steadily, I bet you have just made a big contribution to the industry plus thousands of dollars return profit.