New Orientation

Woke up at 8am this morning. Didn't really sleep well since Tuesday, because my mind was always thinking about the preparation of the interview and felt a bit stressed during these days (coz I was hoping desperately for the job, up to a point I think I will be really disappointed with God if I didn't get it, I know it's bad :< ) . But I still didn't get good sleep yesterday (at least for a person like me who need 9 hours sleep a day)

My mind is thinking how on earth I'm going to finish my PhD before October if I'm gonna start working by then, what shall I do on July (whether to leave London for writing up in Msia or Holland), how shall I talk to my supervisor and etc etc... too many things for me to think about now and to plan properly....I know all these seem to be huge problems, but I'm convinced that God will actually guide me.

I think I've experienced a transition of journey of faith, from disorientation to new orientation. I know it's nothing compare to what the psalmists have experience in the book of Psalm. Anyhow, I've learnt to embrace the art of spritual from the book of Psalm during the bible study with Rev Ho last year. It seriously strikes me a lot until now, whenever I read Psalm.

From Old Orientation to Disorientation, from Disorientation to New Orientation. Basically the flow is simple:
Since young or since you believe in God, people around or the old folks will tell you "no matter what would happen, God will provide everything that you need", so called "Old Orientation" ----> then one day you realise God is not actually doing what you feel He should do, especially when you desperately need for help, but yet God seems not doing anything, even sometimes you think God make things go worse (well, theologians argue God allows this to happen :>), up to a point we feel like giving up or even argue with God. At this time, we fall into a situation called "Disorientation" ----> Finally, one day God participate in the "right time and right place" according to His will (well, I never understand this to be frank), and He overturns the situation completely, and prove to us how naive and simple are humans, how weak is our faith. We feel re-orientated and lead us to "New Orientation". We then tell others the same story (testimonials) and it becomes theirs "Old Orientation"...and it goes on and on....

Hold this principle and then read Psalm 1 (Old Orientation), Psalm 13 (Dis-Orientation) and Psalm 23 (New Orientation). I hope you will start to embrace the psalms like I do. You will seriously learn something out of it, I promise.

And finally, pray for enlightment after that. Thank you Lord. : )